Us, almost!

Even today when I stumble on your picture on Facebook sometimes, I can’t help but wonder that what brought us together,

Was it the fate, circumstances or that bottle of wine in our systems? 


When your chat shows up on WhatsApp, I try and ignore but while checking your last seen, it does come to mind,

Were we capable of more meaningful conversations than just “when are you free?” or “I will tell when I get free.”?


I will not lie but yes!  I do take a detour at times to walk through your street, just to gaze at the place where we spent time together and  think,

Why could I not stay in there a little while longer every time and if I had, could this feel like home? 


Once in a blue moon, when we happen to cross paths, I intentionally look away and try not to look into your eyes, because if I will, a question will haunt me that,

What are you looking at me with, love, lust, regret or nothing at all?


And while thinking about you at night, with my heart filled with emotions, desperately trying to get over you, I talk to the tear rolling down my cheek, ‘

What were we?  Nothing? Friends? Us, almost? 


And that naive heart of mine asks

Why did it have to stop at ‘Almost’? Why couldn’t it get to ‘Us’?







I wonder! 

That when I randomly cross someone walking down the street, they look back at me and hope for me to look back. 

That when I smile at a stranger, they remember later in the day and smile for no reason. 

I wonder! 

That when I strike a candid conversation with someone, they later tell their friends that what a great person I am to talk to. 

That if I ever randomly get noticed. And if I am later remembered. 

I wonder! 

That when there is a friendship budding somewhere, they feel good about it. Look forward to talk to me. May be blush a little. 

That when I am blabbering about anything and everything under the sun, they notice my silly, small habbits. The way I get shy away to look into their eyes. Or get anxious when they try to compliment me. 

I wonder! 

That if they get a feeling of void when I am not around. Wanting me to be there. By their side. 

That when they are in a middle of a task or a conversation, something reminds them of me and they wish for me to be there. 

I wonder! 

That if a thought of me can get someone butterflies in their stomach. Or probably just a small smile on their face. 

That if they have some memory of me, And if they play that memory on repeat in their head. Over and over again. 

I wonder!

That if they skip a beat or get jitters before talking to me. 

That if they plan and practice for the conversation they want to have with me. 

I wonder! 

That if they think that I am the best kiss they have ever had. The most romantic one, probably. 

That they wait for the moment we sink into each other. And when we do, they pray for the moment to never end. 

I wonder! 

That if they think of letting go their high walls when with me. Or peep into mine. 

That if they feel comfortable in my arms. If they want to be held forever. Or have the courage to hold me. 

I wonder! 

But we all do. Don’t we? 

Probably this is all that we wonder about. Lust over! 

And that’s my Wonder-Lust!